I am here
by tatp
Summary: John is consumed by his grief over the loss of Madi. Then he discovers she is still alive. Grief, loss, smut.


The grief was overwhelming. He could barely breathe, let alone move. His Madi, his light in all this darkness, was gone. Taken from him. And he had not had a chance to say goodbye. To tell his sweet, strong woman that he loved her. And that thought, that one realization, was destroying him. It threatened to unseat him from the mooring he had been so tenuously holding onto.

Silver sat on the floor of her library, surrounding himself with all of her things. After meeting with the Maroon Queen, it was all he could do to excuse himself and drag himself here. He had simply slipped away, hoping no one would think to look for him, or ask anything of him. He simply could not. There was literally nothing left in him.

But that thought was short lived. There was the sound of footsteps on the stairs. He knew from the gait who it was even before he saw them. It was Flint. He did not knock. He just walked in, and sat down on a chest across from John. And waited. He did not say anything, just looked at the slumped, defeated man across from him. After a moment, he reached out and put a comforting hand on him shoulder. And that was when he felt it. The moment he felt John break. His shoulders heaved and a strangled sob escaped his throat. "I am sorry, my friend. She was brave. And smart. And she loved you. I know that does not mean anything now. But know this. I am here for you. I will help you out of this darkness. You will see the sun again."

Silver looked at Flint. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked for all the world that the weight and gravity of this situation had just hit him. "I do not know if I can weather this. The only person who truly accepted me, didn't want anything from me but me, is gone. When this war is over, when it is all finished, you will no longer need me. Nor will the men. Then where will I be? Alone. Adrift. And without her? What use then?"

"No. John, as long as I am Captain, I will always need my Quarter Master. You are my voice of reason. The men will always need you. And you are not alone in this. You are never alone. You were there for me in my worst moments. I shall be the same for you. John, do you hear me?"

John looked at him, and nodded. "Would you mind? I would like a moment."

Just then, a knock at the door. Flint walked to the door, and briefly spoke with someone, then quietly returned, holding a letter. John looked up at him. "What is it?" Flint walked closer and handed him the letter. "It's Madi. She's alive."

Silver stood up quickly. "She's alive? Where is she? Take me to her." He was frantic, excited.

"The governor is holding her. I will go speak with the Maroon Queen at once. We will sail to Nassau, and kill every man in the way until we find her. I will bring her back to you, John. You have my word."

"I am coming with you…" Silver was moving about the room, putting on his jacket and grabbing his crutch.

"John, no. The governor wants you. Wants to kill you. If you are there, it will make it all the easier for that. And what good would that be, us saving her and you hanging? No. I will bring her to you. This I swear. But I cannot be worried about you and trying to save her."

"I want to be there."

"I know you do, but trust me. Let me do this for you." Flint looked at John, and John nodded.

"I will be waiting."

Flint knew that trying to reason with the governor so soon after Eleanor's death would prove to be fruitless. He was not of his right mind, and bent on revenge. This would have to be a rescue, and a bloody one at that. As he approached the Maroon Queen's dwelling, his mind was planning, plotting.

Upon entry, he sat across from her. "I need men. 50 at minimum. We will sail to Nassau this night, and rescue your Madi. There will be losses, but we need her. If we have any hope of winning this, I need my Quarter Master in top form. And for that to happen, we need Madi. Not only does she galvanize him, the men trust her. We need her back."

"They are already gathering at the beach. Take what you need."

In less than 2 hours, they were underway, headed to Nassau. Under cover of darkness, anchors were dropped, and long boats loaded. The beach was blessedly empty, one less thing to worry about.

It was more than evident where she was being held, and the shore party descended upon the jail quickly and quietly. The three sentries on external duty were easily subdued, and the keys from one of them relieved and used to gain entry.

Flint looks at Julius and Israel. "This has been easy thus far. Too easy. Be wary."

Both nodded and headed off in opposite directions to head off any potential soldiers. Struggling and brief fighting was to be heard, but no gunfire.

As Flint went down the corridor towards the cells, he heard the governor's voice. "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH HER. Seeing her reminds me my Eleanor is not here. I want her gone!"

He takes this as his sign. Flint stepped into the doorway with pistols drawn and three men behind him. "If you do not want her, I would be glad to relieve you of this burden. Do not move."

Two of the men relieved Woodes of his weapons, and tied him to the chair he sat in. The soldier readily handed over his weapons and stepped away from the governor. Flint handed him the key, pistol pointed at his head. Nodding his head towards the cell when Madi sat, Flint said; "If you please."

After Madi walked out, she ran directly into Flint's arms. "There now. You are safe. Let us get you attended to. Freya is on board. She will tend to your injuries."

Reynolds and the soldier were locked inside the cell. And finally, the ship was boarded and underway. Madi was checked over, cleaned up and fed. After all of this was done, she joined Flint on the deck.

"I am forever grateful to you. Thank you."

Flint looked at her, and smiled. "You are most welcome. "

Silver lay in Madi's bed, an arm slung across his eyes. Morning would be here shortly, and sleep had evaded him. In this state, he thought he'd heard steps coming in, but he was too tired to move, too drained to care.

"I take it you have been waiting for me."

John's mind registered what he had heard, but he was too afraid to look. Afraid it was a dream, or worse, a hallucination. He took a deep breath, and said; "Tell me this is no dream. Tell me you are really here."

"John. I am here. Look at me. I am real." She moved further into the room, closer to the bed.

That is when he noted her distinct smell. Sweet like wildflowers, and spicy, like musk. He uncovered his eyes, but did not open them. He sat up, then opened his eyes. And that was when he saw her. Standing in front of him. Radiant, regal. Beautiful. "You are here." He stated, standing.

"I am . Do you have nothing to say to me?" she asked.

Silver felt his body virtually pulled to her. He grasped he around the back, one hand going into her hair. He studied her face, noting a gash on her forehead, covered by a bandage. He also noted a bruise on her neck, and one on her arm. "Are you alright?" he murmured. His eyes were wet, and his breath was coming in short bursts.

"I am now. I am very happy to see you."

Silver pulled her body flush against his. "I feared I would never see you again. I never told you goodbye. Never told you how much I loved you." Before she could respond, he kissed her. Poured all his fear, and worry and desire into it. "Promise me you will never leave. Promise me that I will be enough for you, and that you will stay with me." He whispered against her lips.

"I promise." She kissed him again, tongue sweeping against the seam of his mouth. He opened his mouth against the onslaught of her kiss, hungry and desperate. He groaned into her open mouth, overwhelmed with the feel and taste of her. Dueling equally with these feelings was the weight of what he had asked of her, and what she had agreed to.

Gathering his wits, he pulled away from her. She pulled against his shirt. "My love. What did they do to you? Did they harm you further than what I can see?" She vehemently shook her head. "No, my love. I am whole. And safe. And here."

She grasped the hem of his shirt, drew it over his head. "John, I need you." She whispered.

" You only need ask, my love" he swept her up and laid her down on the bed. He pulled her shirt over her head, and began unlacing her undergarments. Meanwhile, Madi kissed and stroked every bit of skin she could reach. She latched onto John's neck, sucking and kissing up and down the strong tendon along his neck. "Mmmm. Madi…" he sighed. He divested her of her undergarments, and pulled her pants down and tossed them aside. He sat up and mapped the injuries he saw on her body. Superficial scratches and bruises mostly, but the sight of them marring her beautiful skin angered him. Madi registered the cloud roll across his face, and took his hands in hers. "I am alright.. I am unharmed. I need you to make me feel wanted. Cherished. Would you do that for me?" she asked, kissing his knuckles. "I will".

He ran his hands from her neck down the front of her body, feather light, barely ghosting her skin. She squirmed under his touch, arching her body up to elicit more contact. Seeing her this way, after fearing he would never see her again overwhelmed him for a moment. He stopped and stared down at her, thanking all the was sacred for her return.

Madi opened her eyes and looked up at him. The look she saw nearly unraveled her. It was so tender, and loving, and resolved. This night would not end without many revelations. She reached for him, threading her hands through his hair and kissing him once more. The touch of her lips shook him from his musings. He returned her kiss with fervor, and the kiss took on a life of its own. Wild, and passionate, it spoke of heartbreak and joy renewed.

He kissed down her body, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucked. Madi's legs moved under him restlessly. He continued, tracing the dark bud over and over with his tongue, then tugging it lightly. Not wanting to waste the momentum, he continued down her body, kissing each bruise. Once he reached her center, he pushed her legs up and apart, then took a long swipe through her folds with his tongue. Softly, then a little harder. Then, he inserted a finger inside her, and crooked it just so. Madi squealed and clutched his head closer to her body. "John…..John….." she whispered. He looked up over her arched body, watching her face. He loved to watch her in her throes. "Yes, let go for me, Madi." And just the dark, passion filled rumble of his voice undid her. She arched off the bed with a gasp of his name and came.

He continue to stroke and soothe her while she came down from her high. He kissed her over and over, imprinting the very taste of her upon his soul. "And what of you, my love? " she asked, smiling up at him. " I will claim my due in good time." His hands still moving over her, soothing and arousing at the same time. "Claim me now. Not later. Now." He looked down at her, and smiled. He had never felt more powerful. To have this strong woman beneath him begging him to take her. "Whatever you wish." He whispered.

"Whatever?" she asked, smiling mischievously. She sat up, climbing on top of him and pinning his body down to the bed. And she began the same teasing he had tortured her with. Kissing down his neck and chest, touching and kissing each scar. He lay perfectly still, but his muscles were coiled tight in expectation, his stomach muscles jumping at each touch. She reached his penis, standing up in a thatch of dark hair, weeping. She took him in hand and his hips involuntarily bucked upwards. Kissing the head over and over, she smiled up at him. His eyes had gone from the clear blue of the ocean to a stormy blue. His mouth was agape and his breathing agitated . Then she took him in her mouth and swallowed him as far as she was able, over and over. All decorum lost, he groaned long and loud. "Fuck!" She massaged his balls and she sucked, willing him to lose control. And he did, his fingers tangled in her glorious locks.

She crawled up his body, laying her head upon his chest, and listened to his thundering heart slow. He stroked his rough hands up and down her back, willing air to fill his lungs. They held onto each other, touching and kissing, until even that was not enough for them. Silver rolled Madi underneath him and lifted her leg over his hip. Then, ever so slowly, he sank into her waiting heat. She sucked in a breath and wrapped her arms tighter around his broad back. He buried his face in her neck, and began to stroke. Deep, long, easy strokes that had Madi rolling her head on the pillow. She reached up and stroked his beard, tears shining in her eyes. She wasn't sure if it was the emotion of reuniting with him, or the sheer amazing feel of him inside of her, but she wanted to sob. "John, yes my love…"

Silver looked down at her, and his heart clenched. She was here. Alive. Warm, slick, hot, and incredibly tight. The control she carried was crumbling away, and she was moaning and begging for him. "Are you mine? Mine alone? Because I am yours. Completely." "Yes John! I am yours!" She rasped out at she struggled to catch her breath.

Hearing this, he doubled his efforts. Stroking into her as deeply as he could. He reached between their bodies, his fingers plucking and petting the bundle of nerves in hopes to speed her release. "You are mine. My strong, beautiful warrior. And I and I alone will have you like this. Under my hands, trembling and arching under me. Whispering, then screaming my name. Come for me, my sweet." With one last stroke of his hips and fingers, Madi screamed and came in a torrent. Her release so strong, it swept him up, and he came seconds behind her.

He held her trembling body close to him, the adrenaline rush fading and lack of sleep threatening to claim him. His body felt near to collapse. And as he began to drift off, Madi snuggled even closer and whispered, "I love you. You have always been enough for me. I will follow you wherever you lead."


End file.
